Grey Matter
Is a photographic investigation into the ideas behind musical stimuli, cognition and the intrinsic feelings stimulated by an affective musical response.
I began creating the work in the winter where I would explore the woodland in the dark nights while listening to music repeatedly played on a loop through headphones. This was a solitary experience that soon became a ritual for me. As during this time I was discovering that my father was very ill. I soon found the woodland to be a distraction from reality. It was a place with little interruptions.
Alone in thought I would wonder in the darkness. Searching in the vastness of the landscape for imagery that was stimulating and considered with the music in mind; but as the forest became a familiar sight, the less concerned I became with creating imagery. Shortly within time I became lost in the wilderness of the forest with my thoughts. This process became more about escapism from a difficult time in my life. It allowed me to become emotionally aware of not just the darkness that surrounded me physically but also mentally.
My father later passed away. I was now in a different state of mind. Consequently, my relationship to the music changed. The music now harbored emotions that transcended my initial experience.
A year past and my observations became challenged by the weight of memories. I started to feel the work I had created was obsolete because I was so disengaged with making the imagery and the original idea. Therefore, I returned to the familiarity of the forest again but with different expectations. It was necessary for me to re-interpret the landscape and produce imagery more intuitively. I wanted to reveal the forest and illuminate that darkness while tapping into the depth of emotions I had felt and was feeling. I wanted my findings to became just as important as the process. It was about exploring with purpose. So I focused on my attachment to the landscape by drawing on my own awareness of the associated sensory memories and the personal significance the music has now came to hold.
This work began as an exploration of landscape and music; little did I know that this journey would also be about self-exploration.
Music: Andrew Bird. Beyond the valley of the three white horses